I believe in equality, don’t use the F word.
Such an aggressive word ya!
I have come across many people who proudly say they are not a Feminist. Which I understand. You are probably not aware about the true definition of this movement. Or you don’t want to seem ‘too extreme’ by being a part of such a ‘hysterical-emotionally driven’ group.
I am not going to waste your and my time by telling you how we are not men hating witches.
Instead, in this article we are going to discuss the argument — “I believe in equality but I am not a Feminist” and its variations.
“I am a woman, but I have never been subjected to any sexism…why should I be a feminist?”
When I hear women say that all I can say is, “Global Warming isn’t real because I was cold today :D! Also great news: World Hunger is over because I just ate.” When you say I don’t believe in any feminism, you are undermining the struggle of your ancestors. We are reaping the rewards of their sacrifices everyday of our life. Don’t bite the hand that has fed you freedom and a voice.
“I am a man…why should I be a feminist?”
You are not a cat but you post about animal cruelty all the time, however, I don’t see a tail protruding from your body!
You don’t have to be a woman to support women. You are a victim of patriarchy too. Feminism seeks to retire all gender stereotypes and inequality, which would help everyone, regardless of sex and gender. This means issues such as violence against men will be taken more seriously because it will be divorced from the idea that masculinity means being invulnerable.
“This movement is about equality…why is it called ‘femi’nism?”
The movement is about elevating women to the level of freedom and equality that men currently enjoy. Hence, it is called ‘Femi’ nism. When we say “Black Lives Matter” it does not imply that other lives don’t matter. When we say “Save Whales” we don’t imply its okay to kill dolphins. Women getting rights does not mean men’s rights are being taken away.
The movement started as a socio-political movement advocating for women’s rights based on the premise that gender, specifically, is not an acceptable basis for discrimination or oppression. Through its own chain of reasoning, it has evolved into a movement for equal rights of all genders.
“Okay, why is it not called Egalitarianism?”
This school of thought says that all human beings are fundamentally equal and therefore should have equal rights to all resources. Egalitarianism has had its heyday and has been dormant as a social movement for a while now. Egalitarian laws and practices have not succeeded in elevating the position of women in society. This is why we need something more- why we need feminism. Unlike egalitarianism, feminism is a social movement that is inherently about action; it’s about tackling the world as it is right now, in which one particular gender is being oppressed. With time, hopefully, we will all be able to call ourselves egalitarians. But until then, sorry you will you have to call yourself a Feminist.
“Gosh, Feminism is such an aggressive word!”
“Water? No thanks, I prefer H2O”. “Feminism? No thanks, I prefer gender equality.” If you believe men and women have equal rights, and then someone asks you if you are a feminist, you have to say yes. Because that is how words work. You can’t be like, “Yeah, I am a doctor who primarily does diseases of the skin”, “Oh, so you are a dermatologist?”, “Oh, that’s way too aggressive of a word, not at all. Not at all.”
I hope I made my point clear.
“You didn’t like (take’s random girl’s name) in Chemistry class. Where did your feminism go then?”
Um, I am allowed to not be fond of someone’s personal energy or vibe. Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t want the same rights for her! I still want her to enjoy equal pay and long walks in the dark without fearing for her safety.
“You get ‘special privileges’ like a Women’s only metro coach. Where does your equality go then?”
Do you call wildlife special or lucky for getting their OWN national park? Like “Wow Sita and Charger had their own play area, how wonderful!” Trust me women would gladly give up the ‘special’ privilege of a women’s only metro cabin. It is not a privilege. I don’t think of being perceived as vulnerable to assault as a privilege. The government has devised certain measures to ensure women’s safety. If you can guarantee my safety EACH TIME I step in a general metro coach, I will happily seat my feminist ass in one.
“Some women exploit this movement!”
And I condemn them! These free loaders do not get a bypass for using a Feminist’s struggle and arguments. Exploiting any idea/body/soul/concept/platform should be condemned. Individuals who exploit this movement are also called Feminazis. We could discuss the differences b/w Feminazi and Feminism in a separate article, if you prefer. Only having constructive discussions can help us to live in harmony. But please stop using this term as an offensive slur for a feminist. Being irked by a female and coming for feminism is like being annoyed with a man and coming after the entire mankind.
“I do believe in Feminism, but I won’t go out of my way to support you.”
And we are not asking for you to go out of your way to support us. Do you do everything possible within access to your personal resources to help us? If you are in a positon of power would you ensure that women in your organization get equal pay? Do you tell your friends it is okay to vulnerable with you? Do you ask your guy friends to not objectify women? If you said yes to these, you are doing everything possible within your resources to support the movement. You are a feminist! Don’t doubt yourself on the basis of your participation level. Please don’t dismiss anything as an everyday locker room talk, it is an insult to decent men everywhere.
“I am neutral/ apolitical”
The thing is, you can’t be. You might not make any effort to learn what’s going on, or see what people are doing, which is likely an option for you, but it’s still making a political statement of “I don’t care enough to get involved.”
Being apolitical means taking side of the perpetrator. A very precise explanation from a book I recently loved:
“It is morally impossible to remain neutral in this conflict. The bystander is forced to take sides. It is very tempting to take the side of the perpetrator. All the perpetrator asks is that the bystander do nothing. He appeals to the universal desire to see, hear and speak no evil. The victim, on the contrary, asks the bystander to share the burden of pain. The victim demands action, engagement and remembering…The more powerful the perpetrator, the greater is his prerogative to name and define reality, and the more completely his arguments prevail.”
I don’t think it’s a wise decision to be completely neutral on all issues. Do you know what we get for being neutral/apolitical? Trump, Harvey Weinstein, Brock Turner. When people (like us) have knowledge of the issue at hand and still not speak up, I am sorry but you are taking the perpetrator’s side. Being political just requires you to take a stand, whatever it may be, take a stand, there are real issues that require people to talk about it, to have an opinion.
“This is just a weak movement with little to no effect over the years.”
Please do not say this. You are degrading every woman who has accessed a rape crisis center, which wouldn’t exist without the feminist movement. The movement has brought women out of the household and into the workplace. Women of color who were already working were joined by homemakers in the labor force, which fundamentally changed the economy. Feminism has called out rape culture. It helped to remove some of the stigma surrounding sexual assault, giving survivors the language to label their sexual trauma. They helped pass Title IX, opening new educational possibilities. Although Title IX is commonly associated with compelling colleges and universities to support women’s athletics, one of the biggest and most immediate impacts of the law affected women enrolling in law and medical schools.
Indeed, Title IX opened up huge opportunities for women, ensuring them equal access to higher education. Today, women make up 58% of college undergraduates — an undeniable improvement in the lives of women everywhere. The watershed moment in feminism in the last decade has to be the #MeToo movement, when women all over the world (as also some men) gathered together to protest against sexual harassment and sexual assault.
Also please note feminism is not yesterday’s invention it has been around since centuries. Feel free to read about its history here and its other achievements.
“But what about Men’s rights? “
There is no denying that many men have been at the suffering end in various aspects, which is a fact so obvious that we do not need to attach a “but” or a “too” to “BUT men suffer TOO”. We care about the problems of men. We care that the patriarchy tells men that they have to be stoic beasts incapable of emotion. We care that the patriarchy tells men that they are lust-filled monsters incapable of controlling their own libidos. We care that the patriarchy tells men they cannot be raped or assaulted because the patriarchy believes women are too weak and inferior to be dangerous. Feminists did not do this to you, patriarchy did. If you’d truly like to make a difference for men, there are men activist groups who can educate you about the topic. But please don’t hijack a conversation which concerns women’s rights. There is a time and place for every concern to be addressed, barging in and turning the issue away from hand will not help anyone in resolving gender issues. Hear us out. Men suffer and that doesn’t need to be brought up when women are being attacked and suppressed.
If you ask me what this movement means to me, here is my answer:
It is about equity- doing what is necessary to ensure everyone has a quality standard of life, has their human rights respected (both men and women) and is free from oppression. My feminism is about liberation for all women, and an end of the oppression of all women, including women of colour, immigrants, lesbians and trans women.
Feminism is not a means to be ‘popular’. It is an attack on deeply ingrained social structures that, obviously, people are going to want to cling on. Talking about feminism is not just a political conversation. It is not about being a ‘social justice warrior’. It is about how our actual lives are shaped by misogyny since childhood, and the daily reality of living in fear of violence. This isn’t a game or a philosophical debate. This is our lives.
Also, can you really argue with Former US President Barack Obama?
Let’s not spread hate. I am only trying to make people aware about this movement. We can’t fight patriarchy alone. I NEED YOU. WE NEED YOU!
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